There is a quote that is regularly shared when we evaluate friends and relationships in our lives.
“People come in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” While this sounds emotionally soothing for our moment of reflection, it doesn’t really offer purpose for the new relationship.
A reason, season, or a lifetime are measures of time that do not explain the need for the new relationship. Most of the time, we never realize the purpose of the new person entering and exiting our lives. What is a season? Is it three calendar months or a period of time in which we are struggling through a situation, a crisis, or a catastrophe? In regard to lifetime, does it pertain to your lifetime or their lifetime?
People are always drawn, called, and assigned to our lives for specific purposes. It is often said, “There are no coincidences in life.” People come into our lives to be blessings, to teach lessons, or to deliver chastisement/correction, depending on the purpose, the new person is the source of all three. On the flip side, we are drawn, called, and assigned to the lives of others also to deliver the same; blessing, lesson, and chastisement/correction. This also applies to people, former acquaintances, from the past coming back into our lives for their or our closure or healing.
Once we understand that new people come into our lives for a purpose, it helps to focus on where we are in our lives (age, marital status, future plans, and goals) and what are we to achieve, gain or learn from the relationship(s).
Here are some lessons I have learned when new people come into my life. Please note my viewpoints are expressed based on my faith commitment.
1. Pray
Whenever a new person comes into our lives, we should pray. Pray for God to reveal the purpose for their interaction in your life. Has God placed a blessing, lesson, or chastisement/correction in them for me or in me for them? Pray for the wise counsel they will provide to you. Pray to comprehend the unspoken examples they will display to you and discernment to recognize their purpose. I pray that both persons comprehend their purposes, especially if the purpose is for correction, in order not to repeat it again in the future.
Summary Resource: “Pray without ceasing,” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (Holy Bible, New Testament, NKJV)
2. Be Patient
It is true, “Patience is a virtue.” Patience can be a filter toward clarity of discernment. Without it, wrong decisions are made or the right decisions are missed. The lack of patience results in desperate actions with disparate consequences that could cost time, money, trust, regret, anxiety, and/or depression. A lack of patience can also cause harm to others.
Summary Resource: “…let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-6 (Holy Bible, New Testament, NKJV)
3. Be Honest and Transparent
The truth is healing and if the purpose is healing, for either person, both must be honest and transparent. All behaviors must be authentic and words must be true. As trust is developed, both must be transparent and vulnerable to each other. Being vulnerable allows each to accept good counsel from the other and to eliminate the appearance of manipulation and deception. Always know that no relationship can exist without grace and mercy for what is said in truth.
Summary Resource: “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 (Holy Bible, New Testament, NKJV)
4. Willing to Change
The influence of new people in our lives or in others’ lives causes change. New ideas, points of view, new exposures, and new experiences, can cause a paradigm shift in thinking and in habits. Life challenges people to interact with others outside of common social circles. Different personality types, physical conditions, financial statuses, ethnicities, races, cultures, and/or religions can all be impetuses for change. What if the blessing, lesson, or chastisement/correction is wrapped in a different personality type, physical condition, financial status, ethnicity, race, culture, and/or religion? Any personal intolerance, bias, prejudice, discrimination, or hatred could cause either person to intentionally miss their blessing, lesson, or chastisement/correction. The purpose for being in each other’s lives will not be fulfilled.
Summary Resources: “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love,…” Romans 12:10, (Holy Bible New Testament, NKJV) ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12 31, (Holy Bible New Testament, NKJV)
Final Comment
Everyone has a purpose for interacting in each other’s lives hopefully, to be a blessing, to teach a lesson, or provide guidance for correction. Greet everyone with thankful anticipation of purpose.
Vicki Blocker
Spoken Word Artist
Viki, a native Texan who resides in Dallas, started writing poetry during her high school years and has been performing spoken word since 2008. She considers her style of delivery a dramatic performance including humor, rage, and soft messages of love juxtapose to the rapid-rhyming presentations of some contemporary spoken word artists. She understands the value of words, and how to use them to communicate imagery in metaphor and good-old fashion story-telling. “I want my poetry to affect the listener to experience different perspectives/viewpoints about a wide variety of topics.”
Reach out to “Mz Viki” through email, and check out all of the wonderful things she is doing on social media.
