Part 1 of 4
Picture this: It’s your first day of school. You walk in, full of questions: “Will I like my teacher?” “Will I make friends?” “Will I understand what’s being taught?”
You go through the year: some highs, some lows, but you push through. By the end, you’re ready to celebrate. You made it. You’re moving up.
But then… You find out you’ve been held back.
You’re going to have to repeat a few classes. Not because you didn’t try, but because you didn’t quite get it the first time.
That’s life. Just like school, life has its own set of lessons, and it doesn’t let us move on until we’ve truly learned them. But unlike school, there’s no syllabus, no classroom, and no warning before the next “test” shows up. We think we’ve grown past something, only to find ourselves in the same kind of relationship, the same emotional trigger, the same old story.
Different faces. Different places. Same exact lesson.
Lesson 1: Some Will Love You. Some Won’t. Do It Anyway.
One lesson I had to learn more than once: There will always be someone who loves you, and someone who doesn’t.
For a long time, I let the second group have too much power. I’d hold myself back, not because I wasn’t ready, but because I was worried someone wouldn’t like it. I’d water myself down, waiting for approval before I made a move.
What finally made the lesson stick was realizing that I was the one keeping myself small. I wasn’t failing because others doubted me; I was failing because I did!
That fear became my emotional detention. And I sat in that classroom for way too long.
📓 Is there something you’ve been holding back from doing just because you’re afraid of who won’t like it?
Lesson 2: I Used to React. Now I Respond.
There was a time when, if something upset me, I’d immediately say whatever popped into my head. I thought it meant I was honest, real, and direct.
But often, it just meant I was impulsive.
Now, I give it time. If something still bothers me after a few days, I’ll address it. If it fades, I let it go. I’ve learned that not everything deserves my energy, and not every moment needs my reaction.
I used to react. Now, I respond. That shift didn’t come from a quote; it came from living through the consequences of the old way. That’s when I knew I’d passed that test.
Lesson 3: My Emotional Report Card
If life handed out report cards, here’s how I think I’d be doing in the School of Life:
- Self-Compassion Studies: B- (I give everyone else kudos, but rarely myself.)
- Discernment & Intuition: B+ (I trust my gut, but I still doubt it more than I should.)
- Receiving Help 101: C (Let’s just say I usually need the offer to come a second… or third time.)
- Conflict Resolution: A (I’ve learned to respond, not react. That alone changed everything.)
- Letting Go Lab: A++ (Sometimes, I let go too easily. Still working on knowing what’s worth holding.)
- Boundaries 101: C (Strong with others. Still too soft with myself.)
I share these not to judge myself, but to reflect. Life is a classroom, and not too many of us are getting straight A’s. The key is showing up ready to learn.
📓 What’s on your emotional report card?
Lesson 4: The Loop I Still Live In
One of the loops I’ve been stuck in for years is my relationship with food. I’ll go through a season of eating clean, healthy, and strong. Then I’ll drift: fast food, sugar, skipping meals, and wonder, “How did I end up back here?”
It’s not about laziness. Sometimes my body just craves the comfort.
And every time, I think: Didn’t I already learn this?
But maybe the lesson isn’t about perfect discipline. Maybe it’s about paying attention to what I need emotionally, not just physically. Maybe it’s not about being flawless, but about being kind to myself when I’m in the middle of the loop.
That’s a class I’m still in. And that’s okay.
📓 What’s the pattern in your life that keeps circling back, and what might it be trying to teach you?
Lesson 5: The One I Wish I’d Learned Sooner
I wish someone had told me how amazing it is to enjoy time with yourself. Not in a “treat yourself” kind of way, but in the deep, grounding kind of way where you get to know who you are when no one else is in the room.
For a long time, I tried to find myself in relationships. I didn’t realize I was tying my identity to someone else’s approval. It took years, some quiet, some lonely, to recognize that learning to love your own company is not just healing… It’s freeing.
When you know who you are alone, you stop shrinking to fit inside someone else’s story.
That’s the lesson I wish I’d learned earlier:
Love becomes a choice, not a lifeline, when you already know who you are.
Class Is in Session
The School of Life doesn’t care how old you are, how successful you are, or how much you think you’ve learned. If the lesson isn’t truly learned, it will circle back around. Again. And again.
But here’s the good news: you’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re just still learning, and so am I.
Next week, we’re going back to the “early years,” the foundational lessons we were supposed to learn in elementary, middle, and high school: self-worth, emotional safety, identity, and emotional independence.
Spoiler: A lot of us are still stuck in emotional middle school.
Listen to 📚The School of Life📚
