Critical Thinking and Self-Discovery
You’ve made it to the level of higher learning. This is where you realize it’s not just about gaining knowledge, but applying wisdom. Higher learning turns critical thinking into a survival skill, and this is where you begin to ask yourself: Are my habits, boundaries, and beliefs still true for me?
Beyond One-Dimension
Life isn’t as simple as right or wrong, all or nothing, good or bad. It can be complex, and so are people, yet we often see each other as one-dimensional.
We judge people without knowing their whole story, but over time, I’ve learned an important lesson. Two truths can exist within one person at the same time.
- You can be compassionate and still have power and control.
- You can be kind and still have boundaries.
- You can be independent and still want help.
- You can be grateful and still desire more in life.
However, people who lack critical thinking skills sometimes put others in a box, basing every conclusion on one truth.
I’ve been in the position of holding someone hostage to one truth, and I’ve also experienced the confines of being seen through only one facet. Neither is fun. It constricts relationships.
I don’t know when my awareness began, but I do know that staying open to people, receiving the gems of their personality as our relationship unfolds, and accepting that some will not embrace all of me are three of the most freeing things I’ve ever done.
Energy Budgeting and Better Yeses
When you’re working on a limited financial budget, you tend to scrutinize a little more carefully what goes in and out of your pocketbook. The same thing should hold true for the distribution of your “yes.” Being a good steward of your time, in my opinion, is almost more important than being a good steward of your money.
Why? Because you can earn money back, but once a moment of time is gone, it’s gone forever.
Honestly, I have only recently become a better steward of my time and energy. You see, I am a helper. That may not sound like a big deal to everyone, but my helper friends, you know where this is going! I often help people without even being asked. I’ll bring it to their attention that they need my help, offer to help, and then guide them into asking for it. I know, I know.
These are my “yeses.” They are commitments made out of love and fear of what could happen if that person doesn’t receive my “expert” help.
The problem is, I go from caring about the problem to carrying the problem. My time whittles away, my energy becomes drained, and I turn into the prime example of the “Law of Diminishing Returns”, where the more I do, the less actually gets done. Not only have I taken on someone else’s struggles, but I still have my own.
I am gracefully growing and learning that I need to stay aware, and you do too! It’s okay to offer help to others, but MAKE SURE:
1. They really want your help and are ready to receive it. If not, conflict will arise, and it will become a power struggle.
2. They are putting in equal, if not more, effort than you (taking ownership), or you will go into an energy “overdraft.”
3. You say yes to yourself first before you say yes to them.
If you’re like me, it’s not easy. You care for your loved ones and want the best for them. But at some point, you have to release control of the outcome and focus on your own needs.
The Disorientation of Growth
Growth isn’t a neat transition. It feels like standing on a bridge you’re still building. Every plank is added as you take the next step.
It’s uncertain, but it keeps you moving forward. The disorientation isn’t failure; it’s your recalibration to the wise thinker you’re becoming.
You’re learning to navigate life from consciousness, not conditioning, and that’s the real goal of higher learning. Take care of yourself. 🫶🏾
Conversation Guide
This is a great guide to use with ladies groups or just between friends.
Check out the other School of Life Blogs!
- The School of Life Part 1: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes
- The School of Life Part 2: The Lessons that Shaped Us
