By Guest Blogger Valerie Kelso
In 2010, my life took a turn when I attended a church convention and crossed paths with a man named Jon. To be candid, he came across as intense. While there were two other men in the picture, one significantly older and the other desiring children, my circumstances did not permit such aspirations due to a prior hysterectomy. Consequently, Jon became my choice. We got married in 2011, although his mother held reservations about me. Despite initial tension, our relationship evolved to a more neutral state by 2012.
We ventured into a business together after I sold my house in England. I took the initiative to establish a massage enterprise since Jon aspired to follow his dreams. We opened Javintee Massage. However, Jon began to assert dominance over the business, acting as though it were exclusively his and instructing me to remain silent about it to others.
Deceptive Practices
He made the painful decision to betray our marriage by engaging with other women, some of whom were unaware of our marital status. Hurtful words became a part of our daily interactions, as he would often tell me he could not understand why he had married me and would cruelly comment on my appearance, referring to my hair as “nappy.”
In 2013, a significant turning point occurred when I obtained my massage license, marking the beginning of my career in the field. This allowed me to assert my independence as I no longer wanted students to dictate how we should run our business.
Financial Challenges
Financial struggles loomed large, with us living in his mother’s second home and limited funds to cover expenses. I requested some extra time to catch up on rent, but her response was to kick us out, leaving us homeless from July to December. His indifference to our situation persisted until I issued an ultimatum about leaving, prompting him to secure an apartment for us. He often displayed a façade of grandeur, which some people believed, although he had little substance to support it.
Between 2013 and 2014, he pursued massage school to acquire his license, which required me to work diligently from 9 am until whenever he returned my car, even if that meant working until 11 pm on certain days.
Growth and Increasing Insecurities
His discomfort with my newfound independence and voice became evident in 2015 when I delivered a sermon at church, sharing the stories of the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery. This marked the beginning of his growing animosity towards me, as he realized he had lost control over me.
I reached a point in my life where I knew I needed to make a change. It was then that I decided to establish a massage facility exclusively for women, giving rise to the Purple Light Touch Foundation. That is a story for another time.
In 2016, he took invasive measures, placing a tracker in my car. However, I eventually discovered it when he persistently tried to access my car. A voice within me urged me to inspect my vehicle, leading me to uncover the tracker. When he asked for its return, I unequivocally refused, and he had to cover the expenses for an entire year. I remained resolute.
