Last updated on January 12, 2024
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Listen to “Fear Factor”
Listen to “What If? Part 1”
Listen to “What If? Part 2”
Fear
Fear. We all have it. From the time we are around eight months old to adulthood, we experience fears. We go through life ducking and dodging things that we perceive as dangerous. Some of these perceived dangers are real, and some are irrational. How do you discern what fear is reasonable and possibly needs your action or inaction, and what fears should be noticed and then sent away from your mind?
Types of Fear
There are three main types of fear that I have experienced in my life: the fear of missing out (FOMO), the fear of failure, and even the fear of success. The fear of missing out can cause you to make irresponsible decisions because you are afraid other people are having a good time or finding success and you’re not. See my blog post on Comparison Syndrome. Today, I want to focus on the fear of failure and success. These two fears can cause you to become paralyzed and miss out on your opportunities.
The Fears of Failure and Success
When it comes to fear, we always imagine worst-case scenarios. What if my business fails, causing me to lose my home, car, and even my family? What if I try my very best at something, and it doesn’t work? The fear of failure has been one of the greatest enemies in my life.
Another area people scare themselves away from opportunities is the fear of success. What if I become successful, and people begin to believe I’m a fake (imposter syndrome)? What if too many people start paying attention to me? What if I lose friends because they think I’m a snob or that I’m bragging about myself? What if I don’t end up liking the success I’m seeking?
The phrase “what if” helps our imaginations run wild with the potential downfalls of our future attempts at something. Even though this phrase can occasionally save us from the potentially harmful effects of our unwise decisions, more often than not, it hinders us from taking chances that have a greater reward than risk.
Banishing Irrational Fears
We can take the what-if phrase and flip it to make it work for us! How? Recently I completed an activity called Fear Setting. Fear Setting, created by Tim Ferriss, is a form of goal setting that allows you to lay out all the possible things that can go wrong with your goal. You can think of all of the things that can go wrong: small and worst-case scenarios, but it doesn’t stop there. This type of goal setting does four things for you. After you write down everything that can go wrong, then you:
- Think about ways to prevent these things from happening.
- Brainstorm how to repair or mitigate the damages in case something does go wrong.
- List all of the benefits of taking action.
- Finally, list all of the potential costs of inaction.
After I completed this goal-setting exercise, I felt confident. I gave myself permission to begin working on my goal. I understood what I was walking into. I was still a little nervous (It’s normal when you venture into uncharted territory), but I was not paralyzed.
There are other things you can do as well in order to help calm your fears.
- Meditate and visualize your success, and what will be the best-case scenarios.
- Positive self-talk will help your self-esteem.
- Intentionally do some things that “scare” you by stepping out of your regular comfort zone.
Create the Life you Want
Success is not guaranteed, but neither is ultimate destruction. Therefore don’t sit on your dreams! When I originally had the idea for this blog, I was hesitant to do it. I was excited but scared. I didn’t feel ready, and I didn’t know if I was qualified to share on wellness topics. I made the decision to step out on faith and give it my best try because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
I want to leave you with this quote if you are sitting on the fence and not working on your goals due to fear.
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.” – Les Brown
Don’t let inaction because of irrational fears stop you from creating the life you want. Go out, plan, execute, and live the life you dream!
Thank you for this message. It helped me realize something I was doing that was sabotaging. Stepping out and making a move is the only way for me to make progress.