Starting a Grateful Journal
I don’t recall what led me to begin a Grateful Journal. I either read somewhere about the benefits of it or someone suggested the idea to me. A Grateful Journal can be a great way to begin each day. I found selecting a colorful notebook, one that you will want to pick up every day, and a pen you enjoy writing with will help you want to take time for yourself.
For the past several years each morning, I would begin my day spending quiet minutes alone and would write at least three things I was grateful for. Some days, I wrote a page or two. On other days, I struggled to find two things that I was grateful for. But I knew I was on to something, so I kept showing up each morning for my quiet time.
I realize for some, there are so many things pulling at you when you wake up that you can’t fathom taking time for yourself. But if you are a wife, mother, sister, daughter, caregiver of aging parents, or even single, spending a few moments at the beginning of your day writing down at least three things you are grateful for is a game-changer. This simple act of taking time to reflect and write three things will change your perspective in unimaginable ways.
Showing up for Yourself
A few years ago, I was struggling with balancing all the things I needed to keep up with. I was tired, angry all the time, and frustrated. I knew I needed to make a change, but I didn’t know how. I had no balance in my life. I was constantly giving of myself, and when it was time for me to do something for me, I was too exhausted. That’s when I came across the idea to start getting up earlier. I am not a morning person, so getting up early was a challenge. That small gesture which required that I stopped staying up late at night so I could get up 30 minutes early to have time for myself before beginning my day, changed my life.
As wives, mothers, and daughters, we spend most of our time nurturing, caring for, and supporting others. May I ask you a question? Are you taking time to refresh and regenerate yourself by spending some “me” time with yourself? If your answer is no, read on. I know what you’re thinking… “I can’t get up any earlier! I rarely go to bed before eleven PM and toss and turn until two AM or three AM worrying, thinking, and wondering about what I need to do or forgot to do. How can I get up 30 minutes earlier for myself when I’m sleep-deprived and exhausted?”
It’s true, that many of us struggle to keep all the wheels turning in our lives that we are responsible for, and we give up on creating a soft, quiet place for ourselves. Some of us experience feelings of guilt when we do something for ourselves. Others may feel so overwhelmed that they give up and say, “I can’t put another thing on my plate.” I understand, and at times, I had both pairs of those shoes in my closet.
My journey to making time for myself, like most busy women, was a Struggle (Yes, Big “S”). Many of us see what needs to be done and don’t believe in the power and energy we can harness by beginning our day by making time for ourselves.
When I first committed to making time for myself, I would set my alarm 30 minutes earlier than normal and continuously press the snooze button until it was (actually) time to get up. I would race to begin my day, disappointed for not getting up even though I knew I needed this time. Then, I would become discouraged and disappointed because I was too tired, stressed, or numb to make a space that would benefit me. I kept trying, and eventually, I learned the solution for me was to have a plan for getting to sleep earlier so I would wake up 30 minutes early.
The Benefit of Giving Yourself Time
What you do during that time is up to you. For me, reading, writing, and reflecting were what I needed. Our lives are busy, and many of us are so busy connecting with others that we forget to connect with ourselves. Having those few moments to myself each morning allowed me the space to make myself the priority. I began to choose joy instead of disappointment. My Grateful Journal became a haven where I placed all the small things that gave me comfort and assurance, and I would often go back and reread previous days. I learned to let go of negative talk (inside my head) and not allow negativity to control my thoughts. I chose gratitude instead of beating myself up or stewing in anger over things I could neither change nor control. I slept better and wasn’t so tense and nervous about everything (Sleepy Time Tea in the evening also helped). This morning practice helped me to center myself.
Filling Other People’s Cups
I created a small place in my office where I would spend quiet time reading, praying, and writing in my grateful journal. It brought me great comfort. Making time for myself and writing what I was grateful for led me to encourage friends and family members to do the same.
But someone might say, “Well, I want someone else to encourage me.” or “Encouraging myself feels like a selfish act.” Here is my suggestion: Send a note of encouragement to someone else or call and encourage them. I promise you that if you make this a way of life, you’ll reap great benefits in these small acts of kindness. When I encouraged others, I became encouraged as well. After a few years of writing, I began sending Words of Encouragement to friends and family. I wanted to share something positive with those I knew were going through a particularly tough season in hopes that my message would brighten their day.
Encouraging others helps you to tap into that place where the purest love comes from (Love that does not seek his/her own). This type of love is not self-serving nor self-seeking.
I found joy in encouraging others because I knew the circumstances of those who needed to be reminded that whatever they were going through, to hold on. Sending words of encouragement each morning to those who were suffering due to job loss, deaths, or whatever demons they were silently slaying each day helped me to slay my own dragons and shush the mouths that told me I wasn’t good enough. I began to see encouraging others as a pathway to loving myself as my (own) words breathed new hope in me. I began forgiving myself and learned to stop beating myself up when I made a decision or choice that didn’t work out as planned. I saw how gratitude was teaching me to be more compassionate towards others’ circumstances and how it often changed my perspective on an issue, looking through the lens of gratitude.
Gratitude Creates Joy in All Things
I began to choose joy instead of disappointment after leaving my job. I woke up each day thankful that unemployment covered my expenses and that I was actually free to do some of the things I longed to do. I also learned to let go of being in control. I learned to relax. The words that I sent out each morning initiated uplifting thoughts and prayers from others on the chain message who were going through something. It was a way of extending love and light to those who never asked or didn’t think they needed to be encouraged. The responses I received from the messages I sent out lifted me.
Last May, I celebrated my second anniversary of retirement! Retirement wasn’t difficult for me because I struggled those last few years of working which made it easy for me to say “Bye Felicia!” when my last temp assignment was completed. Even in that situation, I expressed gratitude as I walked out on my last day of work.
Willie Nelson
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”
Resources
Article: Gratitude Journal: 100 Ideas and Prompts
