Circumstantial Happiness
Have you ever had a friend that was “blessed” when things were going good for them in life, but when things were not, they were “cursed”? Have you been that said friend?
So many times we look at life through circumstantial lenses.
Our circumstances dictate our outlook on life. I have done this many times, and it is easy to get caught up in the woe is me, victim mentality.
When Things Don’t Go as Planned
We all have plans of where we believe our life paths should go. If our lives are moving down those paths, we consider ourselves blessed, but what happens when they take an awkward turn left and veer off course? Do you see these detours as the end of the journey, or do you use them as opportunities?
When you first get hit with detours of life: loss of a relationship, job, or business not going how you envisioned, they are a shock to the system. They can throw you off, but once you’ve had time to process what just hit you, then it’s time to go on a pursuit to reframe your view. What are the lessons you have learned from this? What are the new opportunities that have opened up? What have you gained through your loss?
Do the Work
Initially, you may go into a state of denial and grief. The idea that something like “this” is happening to you can be unfathomable. I mean, you’re a good person! So give yourself time to process those emotions. Give yourself some pajama days or ice cream days. Then get to work!
What do your body and mind need from you in order to start reframing your circumstances? Do you need some healthy high, nutrient meals to give you energy? Do you need to burn off some tension with physical movement? Do you need to change your environment to be inspired? Go for a walk or take a trip! Do you just need to surround yourself with people who love you? Whatever you need, this is the time to do it.
Dealing with challenges, loss, and rejection in any shape or form is difficult. It can be easy to feel defeated, but reframing your thoughts can become the best thing that can happen in your life.
Your doctor gives you a diagnosis:
Initial Thought: “I have to do treatments and change my comfortable habits.”
Reframed Thought: “I get to love on myself and give my body the extra special attention it needs to heal.”
You lose a job that you need:
Initial Thought: “I have to go job hunting again.”
Reframed Thought: “I get to go pursue a career and passion that will serve me where I am now in life.”
Your long time relationship ends:
Initial Thought: “I will be alone.”
Reframed Thought: “I get to learn who I am as a person so that I can become who I am supposed to be, whether that’s just for me or to prepare me for a new relationship.”
You can use this thought process for any challenge that comes your way.
As I said before, easy is not the word that comes to my mind when reframing tough situations. Looking at your challenges and losses and turning them into positive points in your life can be a tremendous undertaking, especially if something or someone has completely blindsided you and left you devastated.
Don’t Let Opportunity Pass You By
When hardships of life hit you, it’s easy to become bitter and resentful. It’s easy to throw all the blame on the other side, but when you do this, you lose something. You lose valuable lessons and insight that can make your life more abundant. Do not yield to the temptation to hold on to anything that does not serve your best interest. We may not always have everything in our lives work as planned, but we can reframe our thoughts and actions to create a life worth living.
“Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll
Very good topic!! You have to be able to look at yourself and any situation you find yourself in. Did or could you have done something different… to have a different outcome. Before you point a finger at anyone or feel that the whole world against you, take a look at yourself!! Own your truth. Whether it’s good or bad, if it’s yours own it!! Integrity and self-love is everything!!