3 Ways to Break Free from Toxic Behavior

Listen to the Commentary Below 👇🏾.

Toxic behavior is when a person’s words and behavior intentionally cause distress to others. If someone were to ask you if you are or have ever been toxic, what would you say? Would you admit it, or would you vehemently deny it?

Most women, if not all, have had toxic behavior at some point in their lives. It’s a common but often unspoken reality. We’ve all been there, and it’s okay to admit it.

“Hi, I’m Leeann, and I have been toxic to people before. My words and actions have caused people, at times to feel bad.”

Admitting that you’ve been toxic is not easy, but it’s a crucial step towards growth and healing. It’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.

Why do women become toxic?

Simply put, women develop toxic behavior because of the mismanagement of their emotions.

Anger: Someone once said, “Hurt people, hurt people.” When someone does something to you to cause you emotional pain, it is natural to want them to feel the pain they caused you. So in the spirit of giving them “what’s good for them!”, some women will go out of their way for retaliation.

Jealousy: In a perfect world, all women support each other and cheer each other on in their life achievements. Unfortunately, some women have a “crab in the bucket” mentality, and instead of putting the energy into THEIR dreams and goals, they will use that energy to tear your dreams and goals down.

Fear/ Insecurity/Anxiety ETC: There are many different reasons that a woman may develop controlling behaviors, but the underlying goal of the behavior is the same: to have power over someone else to get them to do what they want.

Which one are you?

There are two types of toxic people. The first type is someone who knows they are engaging in certain negative behaviors but does not care. If you have ever said anything like, “I know I am wrong BUT…” then you, my friend, have been toxic! These women tend to “Behave Badly” from situation to situation.

The other type of toxic person is what I call ‘unknowingly toxic.’ These are people who believe that what they do is normal behavior. Some women have been programmed since a young age that this is how they ‘deal with people.’ They may not realize the negative impact of their actions. On the other hand, ‘knowingly toxic’ people are aware of their behavior but choose to engage in it.

Both types of toxic people risk destroying relationships with the ones they love.

Break Free From Toxic Behavior:

If you ever find yourself in one of these situations, here are three things you can do.

Listen to the people you trust around you: It is IMPERATIVE that you have a good circle of people around you. That way, they will tell you the good, bad, and ugly about your behavior in love, and most importantly, you will know it’s coming from a place of love and care. When they do tell you something, you will consider it serious advice.

Learn Emotional Regulation using Mindfulness: To understand how to break the bad habit of toxic behavior, you have to pay attention to why you’re doing it. Mindfulness allows you to step into the present moment and, non-judgmentally and compassionately, understand what may be causing certain behaviors. There are many resources out there on mindfulness.

Understand what you have control over: Many things in life are beyond our control, but three things we can control are our thoughts, words, and actions. If we learn to let our thinking brain control these things and not our emotional brain, we will become more successful in recognizing and preventing toxic behaviors.

The Dangers of Toxic Behavior:

The mismanagement of emotions can manifest itself in a person being manipulative, ignoring boundaries, and becoming verbally or even physically abusive. These behaviors can strain the targeted person, causing them to become weary of the relationship and distrusting future relationships. It may even cause the targeted person to become toxic themselves, creating a vicious cycle.

Healthy relationships thrive on healthy behaviors. If you are using toxic behaviors to get your way, reflect on how your words and actions impact the people around you. Are you creating an environment of peace or tearing it to pieces? Take care of yourself and your loved ones 🫶🏾.

Resources:

The above article and resources are for those that need to self reflect after dishing out toxic behaviors to the ones you love, but if you have ever been on the receiving end of toxicity, check out these articles below 👇🏾.